Saturday, July 30, 2011

Let's talk serious stuff

Sorry I haven't posted anything in a while...
My brain was (and probably still is) just a little too focused on the future to blog in the present (in fact, I'm blogging this from the future... you can learn ANYTHING on youtube).
I feel like I'm at a time in my life when I must fully come to understand that things probably aren't going to turn out the way I always thought they would.
Honestly, I thought I'd be married by now.
I thought I'd be so ardently in love with art,
instead of with something a little less obtainable. 
I thought I knew myself and who I'd turn out to be.
Okay, I totally understand that I'm ONLY 20 and that I have more than half my life ahead of me.
But that's the problem, you see.
The future is full of so many looming choices I don't feel qualified to make, or even old enough to think about. And being the dreamer that I am, my heart is still attached to those preconceived notions I thought I'd be living.
Except for the "being married" one. Kinda.
I'm not who I thought I would be, nor who I think I should be.
I'm working on getting there, but the future is full of scary paths that I'll have to take to get there. Unfortunately, I find myself apprehensive, unsure if I should plunge myself deep into those decisions, or hold off for a bit, and be a little more cautious. 
Ah, to heck if I know.
Have you ever been in that scary place between the present and future?
Any tips on how to look at the future and not be afraid? 


Jess said...

Hope you don't think I am crazy for commenting :) I just have been hearing this quote a lot and thought I would share: "Sometimes on the way to the dream you get lost and find a better one." I did not think my life would turn out like it has (and honestly most of the time I didn't want it to be like this) but, as the choices come they were made (with some special help, you know...) and things have ended up better then I ever expected! Seriously. Sometimes life gets you down, the trick is to enjoy the current season of life and keep moving forward :)

Chrisanne said...

Of course not! Thanks so much for commenting! I had never heard that quote before, but I love it. Probably it's a little less about the goal and more about the process of getting there. And if you end up finding a new goal like the quote says, then you're no worse than you would've been with out those experiences (and most of the time you're better off). I appreciate the advice!

Barbaloot said...

First off---love the art on this post. Definitely gonna have to check out your blog more.
Second, I'd love to tell you it gets easier when you're older (I'm only 27, but still) doesn't. Have fun:)
We actually talked about this in church yesterday. What I took from everything was that we won't always be sure of our paths, or get direct guidance, but we need to be actively making decisions and moving forward. If we stay in the same place, we could get stuck in a "spiritual dead zone" but even if we move in the wrong direction, we are putting ourselves in a better position to recieve revelation and we can always retrace and move in the right direction.

Chrisanne said...

Some more excellent advice. Thanks so much!

Lauren said...

I have no wisdom to share like your friends. I just wish I could have been there when you felt down in a funk (because I sometimes get too caught up in future ideas that I'm not fully enjoying my now). But I wish I was there come by, give you a big hug, and watch a ridiculously girly movie with nachos or pizza or something, but I guess the treats would have to be oat bran muffins or something huh? Bravo on your fitness work. WOOHOO! Chrisanne is bringing sexy back. :)

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